The Big Move

So Alaric and I have been discussing him and I moving in together for awhile now. Although my first thoughts are always elated and happy, I made sure to think through this decision this time. No relationship is ever perfect, or even near perfect...but in an odd oxymoron kind of way I believe our relationship is very near perfect. What more could you ask for from a relationship than one that is forgiving, kind, loyal, and amazing. He's the sweetest man I've ever met. Our relationship has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, we've been through so much together...and have grown up together. I've seen myself mature more, and I've seen him mature more and it's an amazing feeling knowing that while I'm still learning and still making mistakes I still have someone by my side who will always forgive my mistakes and care for me. We've both heard it from others "you're too young, go out and date". My first thought to that is...why? I've already found someone who makes me feel incredible, who makes me strive to be a better person. I guess all I have to say to myself now is I know I am ready, and we are ready because we can go through what we've been through and still look at each other like it's the very first time we met...like that very first date where he left me giggly and smiling ear to ear. Obviously there is a whole lot more to that like we've both grown up so much and learned so much, and we've both learned not to take what you have for granted. I've learned that while that one tiny thing we're fighting about might seem like the biggest thing ever, and is worth all the fighting at the time...it never is...ever. I can't wait to start my life with him, and I think an entire chapter is about to start in my life and for our relationship and I'm ready to dive in and make the best of it.

CF

So it's about time I talk about CF in my blog. After all it's the biggest distraction in my life. I have Cystic Fibrosis, and although I hate it, I try to have a positive outlook about it. Before, I never thought of it as being a huge part of my life, it was just something I had, something that made me different. But as I get older I start to see the differences between my life and others because I have it. Not only the typical differences like I take more medicine, or I do more treatments. Other differences too, like stressing about health insurance and how I am going to take care of myself once I leave my parents. They've done an amazing job at supporting my sister and I through this. Every time I think of my future I feel like there's a huge wall in the way that I have to figure out how to climb over it, a huge wall named CF. I think it's also become more clear to me how much it's affected my life because it seems to be getting worse. I've been doing a lot to hold on to my health as much as possible, or in CF terms, my PFT scores. They've been dwindling down lately, and even though they've increased since my last hospital visit they still aren't as good as I'd like them to be. I go back and forth on whether I actually feel like I'm getting sick again, it's something I try to just avoid thinking about. My last hospital visit was treacherous, I hated every minute of it. I hated every minute after being released and having to deal with a PICC line at home. And although I had so much support from my loved ones, I never want to go through that again, ever. I feel like I've turned a new leaf, and for once, I promise to always put my health before school, before work, before anything, because being sick affects everything in my life. 

Goals.

Lately I've been making a lot of goals for myself personally, financial goals, and relationship goals. I'm working on achieving these goals in order to make my life better. Personally and mentally I need to learn to stop punishing myself for my mistakes and imperfections.Financially, I need to make sure not to waste money on going out to eat, it's just a waste, and I can spend that money on something special. Alaric and I have our own set of relationship goals to strengthen our relationship. We have been doing so well, I never knew love could be this strong. This part of my life is focused on my goals.

Off topic, but Alaric's birthday is coming up and I cannot wait. I can't wait to see his face when he opens his gifts, and I can't wait to just celebrate it with him with the people we love the most. I think I'm more excited than he is. It'll be a good time. :)

A fun Wednesday afternoon with the boyfriend.

Yesterday was a rather fun day. I had a busy day with school but I got out of my last class a little early and ended up meeting Alaric at the park for a fun afternoon of taking photos together. We got some really good ones. He is such an amazing part of my life, I have no idea what I'd do without him. I was surprised that after his extra long day he was feeling up to taking photos in the park but he was all for it and he did such a great job. There are definitely some perks to having a boyfriend who is into photography. I'm really lucky to have him in my life. He makes me smile all the time, and he's so considerate.

 

First Day!

Today is the first day of my sixth semester at ASU. I'm finishing up my junior year and couldn't say I'd be any prouder of myself than where I am now. Sure, I've struggled through some tough courses but who doesn't? I'm glad that I'm content in my current internship at H&R Block and I think it will help me in the long run to get a better position when I graduate. I'm hoping to do super well in my Business Statistics class this semester. Finishing this upcoming 18 credit hour semester with no less than excellent grades is on the top of my priority list for these upcoming months.  

Last night, Alaric and I printed out our major maps and highlighted our completed courses and hung them up on the wall. It was a nice way to motivate ourselves for this upcoming semester. 

Look's like I still have a lot of work to do.