CF

So it's about time I talk about CF in my blog. After all it's the biggest distraction in my life. I have Cystic Fibrosis, and although I hate it, I try to have a positive outlook about it. Before, I never thought of it as being a huge part of my life, it was just something I had, something that made me different. But as I get older I start to see the differences between my life and others because I have it. Not only the typical differences like I take more medicine, or I do more treatments. Other differences too, like stressing about health insurance and how I am going to take care of myself once I leave my parents. They've done an amazing job at supporting my sister and I through this. Every time I think of my future I feel like there's a huge wall in the way that I have to figure out how to climb over it, a huge wall named CF. I think it's also become more clear to me how much it's affected my life because it seems to be getting worse. I've been doing a lot to hold on to my health as much as possible, or in CF terms, my PFT scores. They've been dwindling down lately, and even though they've increased since my last hospital visit they still aren't as good as I'd like them to be. I go back and forth on whether I actually feel like I'm getting sick again, it's something I try to just avoid thinking about. My last hospital visit was treacherous, I hated every minute of it. I hated every minute after being released and having to deal with a PICC line at home. And although I had so much support from my loved ones, I never want to go through that again, ever. I feel like I've turned a new leaf, and for once, I promise to always put my health before school, before work, before anything, because being sick affects everything in my life.